5 NEGATIVE EMOTIONS THAT HAVE A POSITIVE POTENTIAL
Here’s the thing about self opinion — We tend to put ourselves on a high pedestal, choosing to only look at the “ I am a good and decent person” image. We like to believe that everything we do, we do it for the good of others.. When in reality, the other half of our self image (an important part) we absolutely forget.
Our self opinion is never entirely correct. Infact, we are so ignorant, emotionally driven, self opposing and flawed that it’s surprising we get through the day without being punched in the face several times. (sometimes by our own hands :P)
If we actually decide to become aware of this other half of our self image and accept it as an inseparable part of our being, we would be a lot less miserable.
So, what is this other half that we choose to ignore, cover up or rather deny?
It is our shadow side that consists of angry, selfish, unthoughtful, insecure impulses. It is our dark side that we don’t just conceal from the world but also refuse to accept internally, because it sort of pushes us down from the high pedestal we put ourselves on. In this process of hiding our shadow side from the world, we start to live this lie and choose to ignore it thus not being fully aware of our true self. But, learning to recognise and accept our shadow and it’s emotions, signs and traits isn’t as bad as we think it is.
Infact, being absolutely aware of our shadow will help us in being conscious about our positive as well negative emotions thus making us more complete, authentic and less of an asshat!
Here are 5 emotions from our shadow side that we always brush under the carpet but if we unlearn this pattern and accept them, we’d realise they aren’t as negative as we were taught.
- DISOBEDIENCE
WARNING: I don’t mean to promote reckless rebellions here!
Now that the warning is out of our way, let’s talk about DISOBEDIENCE.
We probably didn’t know how to wipe our own bum when we heard the words “ Obey your mother” which led to “obey your teachers” “Obey your boss” “ Obey This” “Obey that” and it kinda goes on and on. And most of us end up obeying all of it because, remember when we got that ‘bad kid certificate’ even for thinking about disobeying.
For most of us, as kids that certificate was disturbing and thus we’ve grown up to believe DISOBEYING is a bad thing. But this belief isn’t entirely true.
Obedient people in most cases end up being conformists; they seldom create their own path or abolish slavery!
Disobedience on the other hand liberates you. It helps you form opinions, values and worldviews that are your own, that are free whether the world confirms with it or not. Disobedience thus, is the foundation of true freedom.
2. ANGER
What makes anger toxic is the degree to which it is disconnected from reality — ROBERT GREENE
When we were young we were restricted from feeling/expressing anger to avoid uncomfortable situations and maintain peace at home. So as we grew up, we realised we don’t really know what anger is, what to do with it, how to feel it and how to let it go. Thus we end up misplacing our anger and let our personal frustrations & insecurities creep in which only results in destructive outcomes. We run away from it because we fail to understand it, we fail to look at it as an emotion that motivates us to solve problems, makes us aware of injustice and even enhances our emotional intelligence.
Imagine someone tries to ruin a collection of your favourite books, you’d be pissed and try to protect your books right? Now apply this to bigger problems in the world. Unless we are outraged about any damage being caused to anything we love, we won’t be able to make a difference ever!
Anger is just love gone bad! So, where there’s love, there ought to be a little Anger!
3. STUBBORNNESS
‘In a room full of strong people, be stubborn’
We may or may not be strong, we may tend to be vulnerable, drop our guard or even have a breakdown. But if we are stubborn, after every blow, we will get back up again and again and again!
Stubbornness is low key courage. It helps you break through the ordinary, sail through your fear and carve your own way. It gives you the audacity to not settle, get your ass out of your comfort zone and achieve what you desire.
4. JEALOUSY
We have a habit of comparing ourselves with others. Measuring our success, status, financial gains against others. This act of continuous comparison gives birth to feelings of deep jealousy or envy which further leads to feeling inferior, frustrated and insecure. While all of us have felt jealous at some point in our life (probably everyday) and it’s only natural to feel like that, we never admit when we act out of jealousy because our egos are too fragile.
It is almost impossible for us to stop ourselves from comparisons because it is too deep rooted in our brains. Thus, we must start by being aware of our envy and accepting it will help us use it in positive ways.
Here’s how you can redirect your envy into more positive outcomes.
- If you’re comparing yourself with others, be realistic and compare yourself not only with people who have more than you, but also with people who have less than you. This will help you feel more gratitude towards your life. And this gratitude works best against envy.
2. Celebrate others’ joys, happiness and success. This will help you bond with people and make you feel more empathetic and connected to them, leaving behind the bitter feelings.
3. Practice admiration and appreciation. True appreciation towards people and their achievements will help you come out of feelings of pettiness and free your mind of all the jealousy and frustration.
5. SENSITIVITY
Wearing your heart on your sleeve all the time might almost always be perceived as a sign of weakness. If you’re a sensitive person, you might feel emotions and energies too deeply, you intensify things in your head, you might also get into a habit of pleasing people. While all of this might take a toll on you, your sensitivity helps you be a better person. Think about it, feeling deeply and intensely makes it possible for you to cultivate empathy and kindness within you which you can channelise in the right direction. It also makes you a thoughtful friend, partner or colleague.
Just remember your ability to feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is infact a sign of compassion.
Always remember to keep a safe distance from your opinion about yourself. Be aware of how it operates within you. Come to terms with the fact that what you think about yourself might not always be correct. Accept your shadow self and your dark emotions whole heartedly. Know that your feelings need to be held on to, to be healed!